


I'm sorry

by DemeP



Category: Here U Are (Webcomic)
Genre: Car Accidents, Hospitalization, I'm Sorry, M/M, mentioned dead character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-24
Updated: 2019-07-24
Packaged: 2020-07-12 16:34:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19949386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DemeP/pseuds/DemeP
Summary: In the beginning, it was mentioned that there would maybe be amnesia due to a car accident. Here is my take on that.





	I'm sorry

**Author's Note:**

> So the title works as dialogue in the story you'll see, but also from me to the readers.

Dad, I need to talk to you about something."

"Oh?"

Li Huan watched as the light turned green, and his dad drove through the intersection, towards their home.

"Dad, I.. I'm..."

The words he desperately needed to say were on the tip of his tongue, but he was still a little nervous about telling his dad, and sad that he wouldn't be able to tell his mom, that he had found someone who made him so happy, usually.

" Dad, I'm g..."

The first thing he felt was a sharp pain along his side, starting along his elbow and extending out in both directions. Then he felt himself turning over, his head banging against the window.

And the headrest.

And the roof of the car as it skidded across the road.

LiHuan wasn't sure what was going on, his head hurt. A lot. His side hurt, so much that so that it felt like fire.

"Dad...?" It barely came out, a whisper

"Dad?"

He blinked his eyes, that hurt too. He felt something warm on his head but could move his arm to wipe it.

"Da..." He tried one last time before he couldn't keep his eyes open anymore.

~~~----~~~~

The first thing that LiHuan felt was being comfortable, like laying on a soft bed. Then he noticed that he wasn't cold or hot, or felt anything warm on his head or pain in his arm or anything really.

He looked around at his surroundings, they seemed familiar. Like the living room at his dad's house but the colors were off. This place was all various shades of white and grey, it seemed quieter, like a staged home, a home that had never known love.

"My HuanHuan!!"

LiHurn turned his head quickly, ~that didn't hurt, that should have hurt~.

"Mom!"

There she was, standing in her favorite dress smiling at him like she had before she got sick. She threw her arms up and he ran and pulled her into a hug. He felt her warmth and the pressure behind his eyes grew as the tears came forward, and his mom's arms were squeezing him tight. She slowly pulled her self-back, smacking him on the back of his head.

"My sweet boy, what are you doing here!" She laughed, happy to see her son, but terrified because she could see him.

"I don't know," LiHuan told her, watching that sparkle in her that eyes that he missed so much, "I remember driving home with dad and then I felt a pain on my side. I think we were in an accident".

LiHuan followed as his mom brought him to sit on the sofa with him

"You have a choice," his mom starts holding his hands, "you can go back and make sure your dad is happy and finish college, yes I know you got in! Congratulations baby! And live your life, like I want you too, or you could stay here?"

"I can pick?"

"Yes, you are right on the edge sweetie, I'm not saying it will be easy to go back but you'd better go back, you understand me?" she leveled him with a playful glare that he knew and missed so much.

LiHuan laughs and nods "I'll go back mom, but can I tell you something first?"

"Of course, what is it?"

"I'm gay, there is this guy, YuYang, he's my senior at school and I love him," he babbled, feeling the same nerves he felt before.

His mom stares at him for a second, before laughing.

"I was always so worried that you would never find someone. That lonely personality of yours always made it hard for your peers to see the heart of gold that you have. You know how hard it was for me to get your dad to admit he was in love with me."

LiHuan nods.

"You are our son, the proof of our love, and you have the exact opposite problem of your dad who you are so much like. You know who you love and you want everyone to know?"

He nods again.

"Good. That's how it should be. I don't care that you fell in love with a guy. I just care that you are happy. Are you happy when you're with him?"

"Yes."

His mom stands up and pulls LiHuan to his feet, hugging him again, just as tight as the first time.

"Okay, now really it is time for you to go back, baby. Remember, I love you with all my heart, my dear HuanHuan. Please tell your dad I love him too! And that I don't want to see either of you here for a long time! You hear me!

"Yes mom"

~~~---~~~~

LiHuan wakes up slowly, his head is pounding, and there is something stuck in his throat. He tries coughing but it won't move. He tries harder, and then he hears feet rushing around him, hands on his shoulders.

"Hold on kid, this is gonna feel uncomfortable, but it'll only last a second," a voice says from over him somewhere.

"There the tube is out. Can you take a deep breath for me? I'm going to listen to your lungs?"

LiHuan feels the doctor move something off his chest and then the cold stethoscope.

He takes a few deep breath and grunts as his chest hurts so very much.

"Good on both sides, can you open your eyes?

Opening his eyes, LiHuan looks at the doctor and the nurse hovering over him. He turns to see his dad in the bed next to him. His arm is in a cast and he's got a bandage on his head, but he is intently watching LiHuan and his doctor.

"I'm so glad you're awake! The doctors weren't sure when you'd wake up! Are you okay?"

"I'm okay" LiHuan felt his throat hurt as he croaked out the words, "Are you?"

"I'm fine son," the doctors moved to the front of the bed to make some notes on a clipboard.

"We just have a few questions before we let you go back to sleep kid. You feel up to answering them?"

LiHuan nods, hoping he doesn't have to talk too much.

"What is your name?"

"LiHuan"

"How old are you?"

"18"

"What brings you here?"

"Accident, Dad driving, got hit" each word hurts and LiHuan brings his hand up to his throat.

"We can give you something for the pain in a second we just a have a few more questions to make sure you're all there. You were unconscious and intubated for about a day. Where were you born?"

"Fujian"

"Are you in school?"

LiHuan took a second, he wasn't as sure about this one, "yes"

"Okay seems like you've got all your wheels spinning, let us know if anything hurts or feels out of place okay?"

LiHuan nods and watches as the doctor leaves and the nurse walks over to the machines connected to his arms and pushes some buttons. He feels himself relax soon after and turns to his dad, hearing the nurse step quietly out of the room.

"What happened? I know there was an accident but what happened?"

His dad readjusts himself so he is facing him more, he tells him that the light had turned green and they went forward, but a drunk driver came through the intersection and ran right into LiHuan's side of the car. LiHuan has a broken arm, bruised ribs, a severe concussion, and lots of little cuts from the glass breaking. He had to be intubated because his lungs took a beating in the accident.

"How long have we been here? How long do we stay?"

"You've been out for about a day, and the doctors want us both to stay a little while longer to make sure that we are both healing properly. And don't worry about school, I'll call them in the morning and tell them that you'll be out for a while and to please let your teachers and roommate know. I'm that this is a lot to take in right now we can talk more in the morning. Get some sleep my son"

LiHuan turns back to face the ceiling. _“Good, I was right about school”_ LiHuan allowed his thoughts to drift, trying to sleep.

"Dad?"

"Yes HuanHuan?"

"I'm not sure why... but I feel like mom visited me..."

"oh," there was a moment of silence before his dad spoke again, "maybe she made sure you made it through the accident."

LiHuan could hear the emotions in his dad's voice. The pain of having lost his mom coming back again. He tried to remember more, but all he came up with was a warm feeling like a weight was lifted off his shoulders, which didn't make much sense since he had been hit by a car and everything was heavy and hurt.

_“Oh well, I'll try some more in the morning”_ and let himself drift off to sleep.

~~~---~~~

LiHuan slept for what felt like forever. The meds he had been given last night were finally wearing off and the nurses had kept waking him accidentally through out the night when they would come in and check his machines. It must be morning now because even though this eyelids the room seemed brighter. There was probably a window that was letting in light. He took a deep breath and began to check how everything was feeling because he was sure the nurse was going to ask when she came in next.

His head hurt, nowhere specific, but just all over.

Deep breaths were less painful than they had been.

He moved to wiggle his fingers but found he couldn't. Something was holding them. Slowly LiHuan opened his eyes to see what was holding his hand. Things at first are fuzzy, but he saw three people sitting around his bed. There was one person on his left side, the one that was not in a cast and two on the other. He blinked slowly, working to make his eyes see the people more clearly.

"LiHuan!"

"You're awake!" two voices shouted at the same time. LiHuan cringed and immediately both whispered a quick apology

"The nurse had said he might be sensitive to sound," a different voice chimed in softly.

Now the figures where clearer, the one who mentioned the nurse was on his right, his hair a soft light brown and had thin black glasses on his face. He sat next to a girl who had tears in her eyes and was trying to wipe them away with her sleeves.

LiHuan turned to look at his had to see that it was being held by the person on his left. The black-haired boy held LiHuan's hand up as though he was praying with it.

"Hey, LiHuan," he said softly.

LiHuan stared for at him, taking in the unkempt hair and the thick glasses.

"Who are you?"

Something flashed across this boy's face, it was fast but LiHuan saw and before he could apologize, the boy hung his head, slowly putting LiHuan's hand back down on the bed. After a beat, he looked back up, and with a smile he said.

"I'm YuYang, I was on the welcoming committee this year. We met on move-in day. I had been given your luggage." he trailed off, his voice sounding odd by the end.

"Really?"

"Yes, I was also your peer advisor during your military training." LiHuan noticed that his upperclassman's eyes were turning red

"Are you okay, upperclassman?"

YuYang audibly gasped.

"Oh, I'm XiaoYi, we are roommates and classmates in the photography program" the other boy interrupted. LiHuan turned to face the others and just caught a soft 'excuse me' as YuYang got up and left the room.

"This is XiaWangWang she's a friend and classmate as well" XiaoYi continued.

~~~---~~~

LiHuan's doctor had suggested that both he and his dad try to take a nap after his friends had left. He had both been through a lot and need their rest. A nurse had come in and put a thicker curtain on the window to block out the sun, turned off the light, and pulled the blinds over the glass door, leaving them both in the dark.

"It was so nice of your friends to visit. I wasn't expecting to hear from anyone just yet. I hope you remember them soon son, they seem like nice people"

"They do. I hope so too"

"Have a good nap HuanHuan"

"You too dad"

LiHuan laid there silently for a while trying to piece together what he had learned from his visitors. He was a 1st year in the graphic design program at school. His roommate, XiaoYi, was the only one from his room that he got along with, both XiaoYi and upperclassman YuYang had said they were assholes, well XiaoYi said it more politely.

He and XiaoYi had met XiaWangWang after class to work on a special project. When he tried to ask more about it, they had both gotten weirdly quiet and said not to worry about it, that it could wait until he was back to his usual self.

When upperclassman YuYang had come back in, his face was redder than it had been but he was in high spirits telling him stories animatedly of things that had happened during military training.

They had all been very polite and introduced themselves to his dad and ensured that they would help LiHuan however he needed them too when he came back to school.

After a while, the nurse had come in and told them it was time for them to go, that both Mr. Li's needed their rest. The group said their goodbyes and promised to keep a good set of notes for LiHuan to look over once he felt he was ready.

Looking down at his left hand, LiHuan remembered how upperclassman YuYang had been holding it. He wondered why he held it like that and why the thought of his upperclassman holding his hand made him feel warm.

~~~---~~~

Bonus Scene:

YuYang walked out of the hospital room, hearing the other two continuing the introductions. He stopped momentarily when he came to the lobby where he had spent much of the morning but kept walking out until he was in the parking lot and found an empty bench.

He plopped himself down on the edge before pulling his legs up to his chest and crying.

Last night he had gotten a call from the counselor asking him to inform some freshman about their roommate who had been in an accident. When he asked which student had been in the accident, he had not been expecting to hear LiHuan's name. He told the counselor he would let the others know.

He had run to LiHuan's room and told XiaoYi who called WangWang and they all agreed to go visit in the morning. YuYang had wanted to go then but he didn't bring that up, he wasn't sure what he would say to LiHuan when he saw him. After giving him the cold shoulder the other day, he knew it was going to be awkward. He went back to his room and begged to borrow the car so he and the others could drive to Fujian, it would be faster than taking the train and it would give him something to do other than overthinking.

When they had gotten to the hospital the nurse at the front desk told them they would have to wait until visiting hours started and for now that they should sit in the lobby.

It felt so long for YuYang, but once the nurse told them they could go in QUIETLY, she emphasized, YuYang stopped thinking and walked straight into LiHuan's room. He saw the LiHuan and the man who must be his father were still sleeping and slowly sat next to LiHuan's bed.

He didn't realize he had started holding LiHuan's hand until he had started to wake up.

Then when LiHuan asked who he was, his heart stopped. 

He had hoped that LiHuan would forget him and move on so he could be happy, he knew it was going to hurt but this.

This was so much worse than he could have imagined. He never hoped for this.

To not remember him at all?

It felt like he had had his heart ripped straight from his chest. The tears kept coming and he was glad that no one was around to hear as he soaked his jeans full of tears.

When there were no more tears to cry, YuYang stood himself up and walked into a nearby bathroom to splash some water on his face before heading back in and trying his darndest to be himself, praying that something would spark LiHuan's memory, even just a little.

When the nurse told them they had to leave, he gathered up the other two and shepherded them out of the room like a responsible upperclassman would.

The drive back to school was long and quiet, he was glad that they both picked up on his message that he didn't want to talk and just let him drive.

One thought repeating in his head the entire time

~I'm sorry and please remember me~


End file.
